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Living like an Irvanian in a universe filled with Dweasels

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I'm so disappointed.

May 15, 2008

Okay, long-time readers of Irvania.com know that I usually stay away from politics in my online dialogues, but this time I just canít keep quiet any longer. The state primary has come and gone, and not one of you voted for me. I am so disappointed.

Yeah, I know, Iím not actually running for any offices and I donít represent any of the political parties and I donít have an actual platform, but címon. Out of all the billions of voters in this state, not one of you could throw a vote my way? Is it really that hard to have a little consideration for my feelings once in a while? Sure, I have no qualifications and no experience as a political leader, but what difference should that make? Iím pretty sure Iím just as capable of running this country into the ground as any of the other yahoos running for office.

Okay, so my campaign slogan, ďWeíre all screwed,Ē hasnít been very successful in garnering a lot of support from across the political spectrum. After working with some focus groups and spending some time with my marketing people, Iíve come up with a new campaign slogan that I think speaks to the heart of the average American: ďWeíre all really, totally screwed.Ē

The national elections are coming up in November, so keep me in mind when it comes time to sneak your way into the voting booth. Remember, a vote for Dave is one less vote for the other candidates!

This article was filed under:
May 2008 articles
Irvania.com webmaster: Dave Ferris
The content on this page was written: May 23, 2008
Last updated: June 11, 2016