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Miniatures Rules for the National Sport of Irvania

Draft Rules 2: 8/20/2001
Part 2

The Positions

This variant of the National Sport of Irvania features 7 different types of positions:

  • Tremples are all-around balanced players, with average Move and Whap rates, but they are better at Flinging than at Nabbing. Each squad has two of these figures.
  • Nickelbacks are also balanced players with average Move and Whap stats, but are better at Nabbing than Flinging. Each squad has two of these figures.
  • Defensive Grelkers are slow-moving but hard-hitting. They are not particularly good at Flinging, but are good at Nabbing. Each squad has one of these figures.
  • Rushing Grelkers are fast but light-weight. They are average at Flinging and Nabbing. Each squad has one of these figures.
  • Goalies are the only figures that are allowed to enter a Goal Zone. Goalies can enter either goal zone, either their own or the opposing team's. They tend to spend most of their time in the opposing team's goal zone in order to assist scoring. Goalies are good at Flinging and Nabbing, but are weak Whappers and of only average speed. There is only one Goalie on each team.
  • The team's Captain is generally a star athlete. Captains therefore despised by all the other athletes and are frequently beaten senseless because of this. (Captains are also frequently beaten senseless by coaches, referees, cheerleaders, hot dog vendors, fans, and idle passers-by, but this phenomenon is outside the scope of this ruleset.) Captains have average Move and Nab ratings, but are good at Whapping and Flinging.
  • Coaches are the most feared entities on the slargefield, and for good reason. They are not, in theory, active participants in the game, but can lose control of their furies and storm onto the field, to the great dismay of everyone and everything around them. Coaches have a nominal Nab rating, which they rarely use. On the other hand, they are very strong at Whapping and Flinging, and move twice as fast as anyone else. Coaches can only enter the field a maximum of three times per game.

The Goal Zone and Scoring

Scoring is achieved by one of two methods:

  1. Any conscious figure may attempt to Fling a slargeball into the Goal Bunker. The Goal must be within the flinger's Fling range (3 inches times the flinger's Fling stat) and the Fling roll must be successful. If the Fling roll is unsuccessful, the ball bounces off the lip of the Goal Bunker and scatters. The flinger must actually be carrying the ball in order to make the Fling attempt.
  2. A Goalie may carry a slargeball into the Goal Bunker. The Goalie must actually be carrying the ball in order to accomplish this.

The Goal Zone is an area marked outside the opening of the Goal Bunker. Only a Goalie may enter a Goal Zone. A Goalie may enter his own Goal Zone or that of the opposing team. If a Goalie is foolish enough to leave the safety of a Goal Zone, or stands close enough to the edge of a Goal Zone that an opposing figure can move into base-to-base contact, the Goalie may be Whapped.

The Balls

The number of slargeballs used in the game varies depending on how many squads are on each team:

Number of Squads per Team Number of Balls in Play

A team has "custody" of a ball when one of the team's figures is carrying the ball. A figure is defined as carrying the ball if he or she attained the ball by one of these two methods:

  1. Airball: Nabbing (catching) a ball that has been Flung by another figure, as the ball flies through the air and falls on the figure's location. In order to Nab an airball, the ball must be landing at a spot within the Nabbing figure's base.
  2. Groundball: Nabbing (picking up) a ball that is sitting on the ground. In order to Nab a groundball, the Nabbing figure must be in physical base-to-base contact with the ball.

The red thing in the lower right corner of this photo is a groundball. The Rushing Grelker cannot attempt to Nab the ball until he moves up to touch the ball's base with his own base. Note the snoozing Tremple in the background.

Break Play

Play is halted immediately ("Break Play") whenever one of the following conditions occurs:

  1. Anyone scores a goal
  2. Everyone in unconscious
  3. All of the balls in play are somewhere unreachable or offsides
  4. All players agree that play cannot continue under present circumstances

When Break Play occurs, the current turn ends immediately. All unconscious figures are left exactly where they are. Goalies, if conscious, are returned to the opposing team's Goal Zone. Coaches, if conscious and on the field, are moved off the field. All remaining conscious players are lined up anywhere behind the team's slargeline.

Game Setup

At the beginning of the game, each team's Goalie is placed in the opposing team's Goal Zone. (See photo above.) The Coach is placed just off the field, to the right of the slargeline. The rest of the figures are placed anywhere behind the slargeline.

The balls are placed in the center of the field, between the two slargelines. If there are more than one ball in play, the balls are placed 12 inches away from each other, equidistant between the two slargelines.

(There is only one ball in play in the photo above. Since there are 3 squads on each team, there should actually be two slargeballs on the field.

Each team rolls 1d6. Re-roll in case of a tie. The team rolling the highest number has initiative for the turn.

The blue team lined up behind their slargeline at the beginning of the game. Two squads (6 figures each) and the Captain are lined up here, with the Coach just visible on the sidelines. Another squad is stationed in defensive positions, 3 figures on either side of the Goal. The green team Goalie is just visible near the upper right hand corner of the photo.

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