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Great Moments in Literature
(From a conversation on Consim-L)


Original message:
Subject: Re: Research faults of GBOH revealed!!!!
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 1997 14:22:52 -0400
From: David Ferris
To: Conflict simulation Games

Gary G exposed the ugly, painful truth:
The fact is that the game's designer has not properly researched the counters and has allowed the graphics artist to make inumerable mistakes in the counter artwork. [snippage] Look, if you will, at the Persian leaders in the Deluxe Alexander game. Except for Darius III they all look alike!!!!!!

I noticed this too, but I wasn't going to say anything.

Not only do the photographs I possess, taken by Mathew Brady prior to the battle of Gaugamela, show that each of the Persian Leaders were different in facial appearance, but by leading us to believe that all Persian Leaders look alike, the game's designer is making a statement that is rife with political incorrectness.

Are those the same photos that were in Squadron/Signal's "Persian Generals In Action, Volume VIII"?

Besides that, we can clearly see the truth in the contemporary accounts. I quote from Artachoxes' "Oration of Alexander Against Darius":

"In chains, by these deep oceans do fall in my sleep
Nor call of trumpet nor bird of Hibernia,
My flesh did see through storms of bread
The helmets of thine enemies' plume
Beheld their faces, none the same."

In my opinion, you just can't get get any clearer than that.

If that isn't enough for you, the evidence in Aeschysophoaristophototlecles' tragedy "Twelve Guys with Swords from Athens", Act IV, is irrefutable:

Heracles: "Look over, by my hand I see the dread Persian's banner, like Strophades' roar."

Testamones: "Who is that, whose spear shines in the breeze like Hades' pine?"

Aristocranes: "Three are dead, the wind doth howl, o'er these barren plains of sin and wine. Weep, O Agamemnon."

Polybdius: "Aye, who is that, whose shield doth spin like Hera's girdle?"

[The gods Castor and Pollus fly through the air above the heroes' heads, towards the Persian host]

Bob: "By the land of our fathers, this I do swear, that I shall meet yon leader in glorious battle and dip my spear in the river of Scolybius. His armour shall I send to Terbicles, his sword shall I bear in the streets of Futonia. His eyes shall I offer to Athena, his thesaloniaaeaaea shall I give to the highest bidder."

Orestes: "Oh, shut up."

Ghost of Clytemnestra: "Wake, O soldiers of Greece! Wake, and strike the foe yonder!"

Orestes: "Which one? They all look alike from this far away."

[The gods Castor and Pollus fly through the air above the heroes' heads again, this time towards the Greek host, carrying bags of groceries]

Hermanes: "Look close, Orestes, and you shall see their mark. Though their faces hide in helms of brass, their names do send the seven seas.

Aristocranes: "Weep, O Thebes."

[I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself!]

Fernsmodeus


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Last updated: June 11, 2016