My fellow countrymen and countrywomen and other persons of interest, my campaign to be president of this great land of ours is making slow progress.
Yes, it has been said that slow progress is better than no progress. Then again, it has also been said that a stitch in time saves nine, and I don't even know what that means. Can anyone truly be said to know what that means?
Yes, yes they can. And I'm sure you can too.
And so, as we look down the long road ahead and consider the slow progress we've made which is better than no progress we've made, as previously established, we can look further to more slow progress ahead. And I think we can all agree that that's a good thing.
Once again I thank you for your support in this, our finest few minutes.
Last updated: June 9, 2016